Opinion Openers And PUAs-How To Get Your Groove On

opinion openers

Opinion openers are ways for guys to approach a woman or women and get a conversation started without directly hitting on her.

Opinion openers can really be scary for a beginner. Imagine the following: you are in a bar (or coffee shop, bookstore, etc) and you see any number of girls at a table.

All of them are more than decent-looking, but maybe you have your eye on a particular woman.

But she’s with her friends. What do you do?

You can:

A) Panic and leave them alone. After all, they probably all have boyfriends, right?

B) Admire them from afar, but still not approach them. If a girl is with her gal pals, surely, they just want their “girl time” and such things are inviolable.

Besides, you’ve had some unhappy experiences with girls clustered in a group like that. In other words, you’re still panicking.


C) Take a deep breath, empty your head of the previous two assumptions (and you know what they say about the word “assume”), and calmly, confidently walk over and say something like:

“Hey there. I was just thinking of a friend who’s in a tight spot with their relationship situation, and I could really use some female advice. What do you ladies think about (X topic)?”

And voila! You have just used what’s known as an “opinion opener.” This article is not about opinion openers list even though you can find some listed below.

This is to show you the different situations in which you can use good opinion openers and the different styles of opinion openers. Like for example; those alpha male opinion openers that lots of guys don’t seem to shut up about.

Who Uses Opinion Openers Anyway?

There is no difference between opinion openers PUAs use and those used by an average guy. Anyone can use them if you have a little imagination and able to think on your feet.

Any man who wants to find a creative way to break the ice with a female (or group of females), from a pick-up artist, to someone who truly wants a lifelong mate, will find opinion openers an invaluable key that unlocks the doors of communication.

Because let’s face it: women are seen far too often as just something pretty to look at. And even if they’re merely of average looks, they’re still judged by their appearances and not the beautiful hearts and minds underneath.

They want to be seen by men as intelligent and loving, and not just a quick “roll in the hay,” or on the opposite end, rejected entirely because they’re not “beautiful” by societal (read: media) standards.

They are, therefore, not often asked to show off their intelligence and heart-centered wisdom, or even their senses of humor, if the opinion openers are funny.

Make decent use of opinion openers and you will see them light up with a chance to help answer your questions, real or made up.

The following sections will address different opinion opener examples and how best to use them. Read on for plenty of ideas!


Even a woman who doesn’t always follow fashion trends will have opinions on style, especially where either your manner of dress or hairstyle or someone else’s, is concerned.

She might even often offer tips on shopping with a budget, should that be the opinion opener topic.

So, what are some good opinion openers concerning style and fashion? Walk up casually and confidently (if you have a drink, hold it off to one side, to let them know you’re open and friendly) and try the following on for size:

  • “Hey, there. I could really use some female advice. I’ve seen this man-bun trend going around and my cousin’s really gotten into it.

He wants to know what I think, especially as he’s got an eye on this girl he likes, but I hesitate to harsh his man-bun mellow or praise it entirely. What are your thoughts on it?”

  • Ladies, I’m in need of some advice, and the more ideas I get, the better. What are your thoughts about the whole button-down shirt over a t-shirt concept? Is that still legit, or is it lame?”
  • “Girls, I couldn’t help overhearing your conversation about money and clothes, and it got me wondering about something that maybe you can help me with.

Is it better to spend quite a bit of money on well-made clothes and have them last longer, or would you rather buy cheaper stuff and maybe have to replace it more often?”

Dating & Relationships Opinion Openers

This is the one area where women can and will really open up on, among other topics, and you can get all kinds of “feedback” and good conversations going.

Remember, an opinion opener is not a guarantee that the girl of your choice, whether by herself or with friends, will go home with you, let alone to some other hot spot in town.

This is just a way to break the ice, as it were. Now, one thing you might want to think about is if you want to use these types of opinion openers in a bar.

Some women can feel turned off by the idea that bars tend to be modern “meat markets,” especially if they’re looking for quality long-term partners with brains.

And not just a brawny guy with whom to get down and dirty just for one night. Plus, not all girls are into the bar scene anyway.

With that last sentence in mind, using dating and relationship opinion openers in, say, a bookstore, where there are a lot of books on the topic, among other genres, might be more successful.

And let’s face it: bookstores that also have coffee areas are perfect places to unlock what opinions a woman might have on a topic. Especially if you pick up a book, start to read it, and find a phrase that might elicit some good, open-ended conversation.

Ideas to try:

  • “Excuse me, but you seem like someone I can get an answer to a question that’s been bugging me.

I know lots of women like romance novels, but so many others think they set women up for unrealistic expectations during dating, among other potential faults of the genre.

What do you think about this?” (This opinion opener may work best with someone who is actually reading a romance novel.)

  • “Hey, there. Pardon me for interrupting, but I couldn’t help but notice what you were reading, because it made me think of a crazy conversation I had with a friend of mine.

He seems to have this notion that people only read certain things to impress someone they want to get with romantically.

I decided that before I gave him a definite reply, I’d get the answer straight from someone who looks like they truly enjoy books for their own sake. And you look like that type of person.

So, what do you think about his assertion? Is it true, or is my buddy’s thinking just a tad lame?”

Another idea for best conversation openers might be to go up to a bunch of girls enjoying their coffees, and say something like:

“So, ladies, I have a question for you all. I’m taking a poll for a class I’m in, and you girls look like you could give me some great answers.

The question is: ‘Are coffee dates a classic scene, or are they cliché? In other words, do you go for a familiar setting like this coffee and book shop, or would you want a guy to be more original, so to speak?”

This type of query will get girls to open up as they’ll be more than happy to share their preferences.

Granted, a small group like that wouldn’t give you a very large range of answers, but it will definitely answer unspoken questions about what girls like the most.

Is it a comfortable, familiar settings in which to relax, and which girls prefer more “adventurous” or innovative dates. All this without giving the group the impression that you are trying to hit on them.

One idea you could also try is to use alpha male opinion openers or two, where you ask a girl, or group of girls something like:

I have seen a lot of debate about what women want in a guy, especially on the heels of this ‘Fifty Shades’ thing. Do they want a dominant alpha male type, or do they want someone who’s going to be more ‘white-knight-ish,’ putting women on pedestals?

I have heard quite a mouthful from both sides, and I’m wondering what’s true and not true. Can you give me some honest insight?”

The kind of response you get to this or any other opinion openers examples will, of course, depend on the individual or group of individuals you’re asking, but that’s the beauty of opinion openers.

You get to see inside women’s minds especially when approaching girls in a confident, laid-back manner.

You may even be tossed a few questions your way, which is all to the good, because then you can either prove a girl’s assumptions correct, incorrect, or somewhere in between, based on how you want to be as a man, and as a human being, in general.

And the more questions and answers that pass between you and the girl or girls you’re talking to, the more likely it is that truly enlightening conversations will happen.

Fun Times-Opinion Openers day game

Of course, not every topic has to be serious. Enter the funny opinion openers! This is a bit easier to do in bars and clubs, where there’s always an opportunity for humorous banter with a lot of girls.

For instance, if you’ve come into a bar with a mixed-gender group from your workplace or university, and you don’t know the girls in your group very well because you’re new in town, humorous opinion openers are a great way to show that you’re as playful as you are serious.

Try these good openers for sentences:

  • “I’m in sort of a dilemma. Mom’s after me to get married and lose my v-card. What should I do first?”
  • “Help me settle this dumb debate, please: Which is better, Sprite or 7Up?”
  • “If someone tried to make a movie based on alcoholic beverage spokespeople, who in our group would be best suited to which role?”
  • “I have a bet going with my friend over here as to whose biceps are bigger. Any of you ladies want to take up my cause?”

Some kinds of funny opinion openers tend to work better in groups than on a one-to-one basis.

And if you’re scared about approaching a girl one-on-one, asking her opinion on something while in a group, then use Indirect openers list. I will talk about this more in the future.

But for now, just remember to take deep breaths, and remember that girls are just as human as you are. They just happen to operate and think in a different way.

That said, once you’re a bit more confident, now that the ice is broken with group jokes, you can use that momentum to talk to one or two specific girls, especially if you’ve overheard in the office, or in class, what kind of humor they go for.

For instance, Sam loves silly British humor, particularly old Britcoms, as well as “Monty Python.”

He and a group of work friends, including a girl he likes (we’ll call her Amanda), are at a bar, and over the noise and crowd, he somehow overhears Amanda quoting one of his favorite “Monty Python” movies.

Sam decides such a topic-based opinion opener would work well, so he uses that quote as an excuse to head over her way. When he reaches where she’s sitting, he says something like:

“So, Amanda, I’m curious to know what you think: just how serious does an injury have to be in order for you to deny its seriousness and call it ‘just a flesh wound’?”

Naturally, Amanda smiles and giggles, happy to have found another “Monty Python” fan, and they exchange all kinds of funny banter back and forth till their sides hurt, or till the bar closes, whichever comes first.

She thinks he’s cute and funny, and says so, mentioning that she’s kind of noticed him in the office, trying to make their stuck-up boss laugh.

They leave the bar together to go have some food, and their night ends much better than the way it started: an exchange of numbers and a date asked for and accepted.

Opinion Openers Techniques

Opinion openers, and the various possible question-phrasing techniques you can employ to start a conversation with the opposite sex.

while using them, can be an awesome way of not only smoothing the road towards finding someone to chat with, ask for a date (especially if you know them from work or school), you can also use them as honest opinion openers for best friend.

More to the point: don’t just use opinion openers when you’re out looking for a girl to chat up. Use openers while you’re actually dating someone seriously.

The technique may simply be a bit different than what you used whilst single, but the objective is the same: engaging your date’s mind, getting her honest opinions and learning how she ticks, both as a woman, and as a human being.

Additionally, opinion openers can be used by any man in any age group who is looking for companionship. The questions might change once you go up the age scale, but again, the goal is the same.

The idea of this article was to give you this info so you can walk up confidently to a woman with plenty to say to her, and not feel too hampered by nerves.

Take the suggested topics with you as inspiration and maybe you can come up with some ideas of your own.

Keep in mind that if you’re with a group, spontaneous opportunities for openers may be the best way to go to break the ice. That said, you can even turn opinion openers into some sort of game, either using “Beer Pong” or “Truth or Dare” as a framework.

However you end up using opinion openers going forward; this is probably one of the best tools you will ever have in your toolbox for approaching women confidently and intelligently.

Photo Credit: Christof Timmermann Flickr via Compfight cc